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Stop Looking for White Respect

woman with blindfold

All the “white people don’t respect us because (fill in the endless blanks), is useless. It began in disrespect during slavery, and it remains that way regardless of what we accomplish. We should want to respect ourselves just because! We accomplish things for ourselves and our legacy/children.

We are not fighting for respect from white people, we are uniting for ourselves to overcome white imposed tragedies. Why would you want respect from people who did non-respectable things to us get where they are? I’d rather us respect each other and go on about our business. We are not in a regular situation here people. As much as people want to act like we are moving forward, those same people are still obsessed with whiteness. Again, breaking it down to the micro level, don’t people always say that a situation you haven’t healed from comes back around? That is the case with black people! For example, there are Black people who feel that because they have made it to a certain status, that these everyday issues don’t affect them, then they cast it off as a class issue, until they realize that class doesn’t protect them from racism. My dear people, that is why I am always giving examples of my life, God made sure I had a life full of examples. I don’t need to cite a study done, we don’t need any more evidence of racism; I tell stories, and give solutions. I keep telling people, I grew up with a life of class status, I am sure my dad would not appreciate me telling his salary, but let’s just say, all 6 of us children were abundantly taken care of. Let’s just say, my dad’s employee looked at him and said “I can’t believe I’m taking orders from a Black man”. Let’s just say, those white people were jealous and broke into our house. Let’s just say a lot of things here okay. I am not the only Black person who grew up with such status, but my comrades have a way of acting like they didn’t experience these things to protect the class status instead of just being honest. Like girl, I know, you know, we know, what we went through but you wanna fake to these people like you had it good with these white people. The way whiteness is protected is sickening. Let a Black person make one mistake and you are ready to call them out but protect the white people who terrorize you? Hey, if that’s what you want and need, but let’s be clear, it will keep happening until you stand up to it and stop protecting it.

In a country where the laws were literally built to protect whiteness, we have no idea the clauses, and even rituals done that could literally determine the outcome of what is happening to Black people even today. Everyone else is doing what they can to protect their communities, we need to get on board. That is why prayer is essential to literally protect ourselves from their law and rituals, I’ll save that for another blog post. My people my people, we cannot keep badgering each other over how white people see us in a land where it’s built on seeing us this way. When I enter a Black business, whatever shortcomings they have, I go to them like a sister – this is true. I remember when I went to Harlem and supported a Senegalese restaurant, the waitress who was a young Black lady was rude to me and my friend, the only 2 Black patrons, and extra nice to the white ones. We waited to see, and it became obvious that she was mistreating us, because remember, blackness is so hated that we have internalized it. Well, we pulled the owner to the side and I explained that as my brother, I took pride in supporting his business, but that the way his waitress behaved was unacceptable, she literally threw my friends’ tea down and it spilled and she left it, crazy. Anyway, he took the advice, because we didn’t just criticize but reminded him that he is our brother. That is how people of the same community should protect each other. Just last month me and my boyfriend walked into a nice seafood restaurant looking good, looking great, and the waitress literally sat us in a side room that was hot, away from the lighted, air conditioned area, and guess who was also seated in this area, other Black people! We demanded to be seated elsewhere – although we could’ve left, but we like demanding better, and we we were seated in the midst of white people who literally looked like “what are they doing here?” with Michael Jackson music playing (they play our music while simultaneously not wanting us there). I have to remind people, when have you walked in a white establishment and been treated like a queen or king? Isn’t that why we fight, to not be treated as second class citizens? So why totally disregard a black businesses because they didn’t meet the “standards” of whiteness? What does that mean, it means, when you are supporting a Black business or event, and they make a mistake (or just not professional) stop saying “this is why white people don’t want to do business with us”. What is it white people’s business what we are doing, we have nothing to prove to them, they did a bad business deal with us and still owe us, so our only business with them is getting what we deserve. I am not building my business, DiasporAfri, LLC to look favorable in the eyes of whites, I am building it because I want to leave a legacy for my children and grandchildren. What you see now is not the end goal of DiasporAfri, but only those close to me know. I know I am professional, according to customers so far who have supported my business, but if I make a mistake, I would not want people to say I shouldn’t make mistakes to avoid being seen as less than in the eyes of white people. I would challenge myself to be a better business person for myself, and my customers; that is all I need.

I know people from all over the world read this blog, I am speaking to Black people about issues and solutions for our community. Yes, whiteness is a thing that plagues the minds of Black people, but it is not for you to judge or try to fix, we got us. I can’t control who reads this blog, but be sure to understand that I am not writing to be seen as favorable, and I will not hide truth to be kind to anybody’s feelings. We need to deal with truth to heal it, and the only way my people will heal is if we get real. People love reminding Black people of our past that we were victims of, and blaming us for our current state, but hate the idea of being reminded of their colonizer past and acknowledging that it is the only reason, not hard work, that got them here today – get over yourselves please. If you feel that you have earned respect and Black people owe it to you to be seen as favorable by you, I have news, It will not be that way any longer, especially not from me or my bloodline. I have stood up and resisted in many spaces and I don’t do it to just be noted, I do it to tell my people “look, this is how it can be done!” I make myself clear when I say I represent black people, because we need spaces that are completely focused on us as we have the most unique position in the world wherever we are. We need to be eradicated from seeing ourselves in the eyes of whiteness; the plantation is gone, I don’t need other Black people reminding me all the time that the whites are watching. I just had this conversation the other day, and a few weeks ago, I had to literally tell other Black people to stop telling me how white people see us – I don’t care. How can I believe my people are healed when we keep talking about being respected by whites all the time? The problem with this logic is that, people use it to justify the killing of Black people. “Well if he just did this”, “well if he just complied”, that is slave talk, it’s not realistic to die for wearing a hoodie, or even die for “talking back” to police. In a country where the law is always against us, there is nothing we can do but respect and protect ourselves. Be sure to sign up for Decolonize Your Mind to dig more deep into the theories and philosophies to help eradicate your mind from this thinking.


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Be A Solutions Person #ForwardFridays

focused african american teenage chemist working on formula in scientific center

Hello All! Happy Friday! I was talking to my Grandmother’s cousin the other day. Should we say, great cousin? Anyway, Africans don’t use all these extra words. So I was talking to my cousin the other day, and we were talking about the changes that can be made in African American communities. Now, she has a PhD in education and taught for many years, she was born in Virginia with my grandmother and made her career in California, so she’s not new to this, she’s true to this. Anyway, she said she loved how I did not have a spirit of intimidation, and that she can share with me solutions, because she knows I’ll take action. Why am I telling you this, because as humans, we all have the ability to talk, but those around you recognize who’s about action. I notice some people don’t bring frivolous arguments my way, because they know that I am about that life. I have and am dedicating my time and resources to create initiatives for my people with integrity. I can’t take every opportunity, I can’t be about everything, because I want something that cannot be taken away or controlled by people who do not have the best interests of Black people.

So, be a solutions person, if you are a complainer, then there is a solution inside of you. Some people don’t want to deal with the reality that a lot of this takes work. What is the point of building followers if they are following you for clout? I have always said that I want a group of followers who will walk along side me, not just following for popularity, because I need people to get the message and act. Action is the word that is important to everything in DiasporAfri, and not just action against white supremacy, but action FOR Black people. Don’t just cheer me on, join me. I personally don’t need cheering on, I need action. I am not saying this to be harsh, but people’s lives are on the line. Black communities around the world are crying out the same cry. Our global cry is being sensationalized for good TV, we are not even seen as people with emotions. We don’t even see ourselves as humans with emotions as we have become used to oppressive narratives. Complaining about whiteness and white supremacy all day does nothing, give life to our narratives, write a book for us, create an initiative for us; stop writing books on whiteness and what they do, we don’t need another book telling us what white racists do. I agree, call out situations when they happen, I do it all the time, I don’t run to twitter each time, I call it out when it’s happening. I remember I was in a group chat last year and the only non-black person in the chat said 3 negative things about Black people, and at the time I was off the chat for 2 weeks. I came back and read it, and I called her out immediately, she got defensive, and because nobody called her out, she thought she could talk to me crazy. Then the Black people in the chat wanted to ask me why I called her out; I asked them, why didn’t you call her out? Then those same people were loud as heck on twitter about racism. I created the group chat, and I left it, and left those people alone. If we are not going to call out racist acts as they happen, then why run to twitter to call out white racists? That is why I say, be a solutions person, what we need are initiatives geared towards us. We are our focus, yes, we recognize the problems, then we move to solutions.

I am grateful that a woman with such wisdom and life experience recognized me as a solutions person, and one she could confide ideas in. She is not the first elder to do so, and in fact, an elder I went to grad school with told me that I am an action person, and I need to surround myself with action people. It is not always about the masses, sometimes big things can happen with small groups. I call on the action people reading this to get active! Yesterday I posted a blog post of all the initiatives DiasporAfri has going on, one of the first immediate things I would like to do is create a space for Black youth to be empowered through workshops that I have done in the past, support where you can, let’s get moving!

EDIT: being well formed on white supremacy and how live outside of it is good to know, I am specifically talking about people who try to prove that white supremacy still exists and talks about it all day while doing nothing for us. I believe that people who are complainers actually have a solution. We need to get the solutions out if we are going to truly live outside of white supremacy and build our people up! Don’t do one without the other is what I am saying.

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Dear Warrior… #ForwardFridays

Melanated gem, you may be conflicted at times, wondering why you’re emotions are taking the best of you, and you don’t know what to do. I want you to know that, in this world, 2 things can be true, you can be a kind soul, and a warrior when need be. We should be angry at our treatment, anyone who says to just ignore it is lying to themselves. How do you watch a 9 year old Black girl be abused by the police, in this here 2021, and say, “it doesn’t affect me”. As I watch things like that, I see me, I am the little black girl. If an Asian, or a Jew, or a Middle Eastern had been impacted by that experience, their whole nation would be up in arms, and as I’ve said before people; Africans in America (African-Americans) are the only uncovered people in the world; the system feels that they have control over the identity of Black people, because that is how Blackness started in this country, under the authority of others, they don’t realize, that authority is over, and it never was theirs.

So, warriors, we can’t let the same system control how we express our emotions too, our emotions are ours and we do with them what we want. Who cares if you cry and scream, you should; who cares if you are angry at all white people, you have a right not to trust. Let people earn your trust, all people actually, but especially in workplaces, healthcare, law enforcement, where we are always mistreated. Your emotions are valid, your mistrust is valid, now we move these emotions to actions. We advocate, we act, we educate, we build each other up in action and in business, we pour that energy back into ourselves. It is ok to feel your anger, then after, act. Warrior, you made it this far, and the fact that you are still here means you have something to contribute. Continue to get angry warrior, then after, show us why God put you on this earth.

Activate your inner warrior by joining here:

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Colonization under a different name… #DearBlackPeople

I usually don’t get into this, unless relating it to a point I want to make to Black people – my melanated gems – however, I think it’s important to understand the root of many of the injustices we see today. White supremacy is a pie, a really old pie, but a pie nonetheless; they’ve taken that old pie and cut out 1 piece to throw out to everyone else to fight over. The 5% of people are fighting over the one piece of pie while white supremacy is enjoying 95% of the pie, and there are crumbs falling from their pie. Then they say, besides the piece we’ve given the rest of you, if one of you would like these crumbs, you can come join us. Therefore, the one or few non-white people take the crumbs, and they feel like they’ve made it, even though they really don’t benefit from the 95% of the pie generationally, so when they try to advance and make progress with the 95%, the 95% reminds them, “you should be happy with your crumbs!” I actually heard a story just like that from a Black woman before, when she asked for a raise after 7 years from her job as the only Black woman working with all white men; and I saw it happen with my dad, when his business was excelling, how his white peers began to become viscous enemies.

What does this have to do with colonization? Well, it’s all the same, the same reason colonization happened, is the same reason for gentrification, marginalization, globalization, and hateration that comes to any Black person who tries to fully succeed and liberate themselves within this colonial construct. The purpose was for white supremacy to keep the pie and eliminate anyone who tried to access more of the pie than they were allotted. That is why Black people rightfully don’t trust Black politicians, because a lot of times they are in and representing the system that they can’t betray. This redemption work is the work of the “regular” people, we don’t have any ties to a system that we owe allegiance to. That is why when I was meeting with Congress and Senate members this past summer, I was happy that I was not attached to any organization, because I could speak freely about my purpose and my faith as it relates to redemption work for Black people. I didn’t have to filter myself, and that’s what we need, we need people without a filter, someone who’s not invested in the advancement of all people, but Black people. Colonization only is upheld out of fear, on both sides; fear from white supremacists that they will lose something that was never theirs, and fear from Black people that we could literally lose our lives trying to fight for it. I remember watching the news a few years ago and hearing 4 or 5 white men admit that they are scared to lose power. Well, again, we have to take back the pie, and unite to demand it. When one person comes up against a system such as colonization, it is hard, but when hundreds of thousands do, it is beneficial.

Let’s do this work together,