No matter how strong something may seem, if it’s meant for you to defeat it, you will – I had that thought today as I had a long battle that I eventually was victorious in. At times I thought it was over, it wasn’t; I thought it was getting tougher, no, I was getting tougher. You see, battles may come, but as long as you’re intentional, you will win. Especially as Black people, a lot of times what’s going on in society may make one think that’s it’s not worth the fight, but I’m here to tell you, when you are fighting something, it is fighting back, it WILL get bolder in its attack. Nobody reacts to “power” being taken away with ease, the fight back is expected. Never succumb to tactics used to scare you to silence, always get louder and more strategic with your approach. Each time you do, you empower a generation. Anytime we speak defeat, ie. “black people are doomed”, that is speaking your expectations. Speak clear expectations, then act on them, ie. “Black people will win in 2021!”. The fight may look harder, but that’s because that’s just how it is, as much as people play video games, you’d think that everyone has grasped that concept. Each level gets harder, not easier. It gets easier when you continue to defeat because you know that you have a track record now of victoriousness. I look at my life and don’t stress about situations because I say “I know I’ll be alright”… it’s the other people around me stressing. That is life, but collectively us each facing the battles and winning means global wins. Everything from the small act of racism to the institutional act should be challenged as if it is the most important fight on earth. No act of racism is light considering 400 years; fight, fight, fight!
Hello All! Welcome to the 2nd edition of Throwback Thursday on the new blogging schedule. This is the 1st Thursday of the month where I share a throwback post and explain what I was thinking during that time. This is for the Extroverts was written at a time of extreme peace in my life, and I am still experiencing that peace, not a nagging feeling that someone is plotting against me like Judas. At the time I had eliminated so many people, places, and things, and refocused. I began a period of solitude that was necessary to refocus on my purpose. That solitude as I’ve talked about many times was revealed through the stories of Joseph, Ruth, Moses, and Jesus 40 days fast in the bible, also greats like Nelson Mandela and Marcus Garvey. The conclusion of these was that people with callings must find themselves by themselves for a period of time to test their actual faith and sharpen their gifts. I am grateful for that time, as I was sharpened and I depended on faith alone, that is why I don’t care what anyone calls their faith, I call my faith the faith of the ancestors. Faith brought me to the point of no worry, til’ this day, and even when the pandemic started I had no worry, it is a time I had waited for, and had been prepared for through the period of solitude; a shift in the history of the world. If I had skipped all that is mentioned below, I would have been shaken up, I wasn’t, I just continued in my purpose. I teach my fellow Melanated Gems how to do the same through myDear Black PeopleWebinar Series that starts again at the end of this month, it also looks different for everyone, I talk about that too. However, this is for the extroverts with a gift that need to set boundaries. People will be drawn to our gifts, but they may not have the capacity to give back. It’s the story of Black people, so giving, but we haven’t gotten back a slither of the love, gifts, inventions, wealth, resources, and everything else that we’ve given the world. We have to as a people find ourselves in solitude until we can properly set up boundaries and interact normally with others again, just as it happened in my life, AMEN! Enjoy below!
1. Define your Gift
2. Conserve energy & pour that energy into the gift
3. Identify people that align with your gift
4. Create boundaries & build solid friendships with those who meet those boundaries, in alignment with the gift.
I put a lot into myself this year and last year more than ever and the results have been extremely beneficial. The reason is because as an extrovert, I spent a lot of time pouring into people, praying for people, motivating people, and being an extremely good friend; people start depending on that, to the point where I’d be drained and didn’t have enough time to pour all that into myself. By the time it was my turn to be filled up people would be nowhere to be found. I spent hours consoling people, motivating them, and praying for them with them not being able to do the same. Now trust me, I’ve had extremely good friends, about three in my entire life. When I say good friends, I mean people who would do for me just as I would do for them and we didn’t offend each other in a way that was intentional; we barely even made each other mad, in fact – never. Everything that we didn’t understand about each other we just talked out. But as an extrovert, getting older, more involved and active in various communities and causes, I found myself being surrounded by people who were drawn to my abilities but not concerned about me. & this is not something I’m making up; elders, professors, church leaders, & bosses in the workplace have always told me that I am a visionary with great ambition; always having a plan, ready to get things done, but people don’t have the same motivation as me, so I need to be careful. One church elder specifically said “people will use you because of your gift so you have to be careful.”
I am saying all of this for a reason, we have to know ourselves, and we have to know who’s around us. 2018 was my last year being social; I went to a few weddings but for the most part I poured so much into myself. This year, 2019, I have been rarely social; my phone has been so dry, & I’ve been at peace. I decided to cut off all energy from all sources and let things naturally gravitate. I haven’t been quick to contact anyone, except for when I am strongly led to open up communication. Other than that most communication that I’ve had has been incoming. I deleted 90% of my numbers just to see which people would stay in contact and which ones would not, because nobody can ever say that I lack communication, so at that point I was deleting numbers I knew I did my part. I take my life extremely seriously because I can’t afford to not be in alignment with my life goals all due to being connected with the wrong people. & as I always say, just because they’re not meant for me doesn’t mean they’re bad people.
I’m not afraid to be by myself, because I asked God to teach me what to do with my time. As an extrovert at times I get bored, but I have enjoyed this rest and just pouring back into myself in a way like never before. I’m telling this story because it is highly important for us to get serious about the people in our lives; we seek peace, & we have so much energy coming in that we never know what is distracting our peace. Understand that in a world where the majority are followers & few are leaders, strong boundaries have to be set to protect our peace & not be led astray. Understand this is context: all that praying, all that motivating, all that consoling I did for others I really needed to do for myself, & the lack of peace I experienced was because I had too many ppl extracting from my gift. Lack of peace is not fun, it’s draining. I decided that if I’m going to counsel I’m going to get paid to do it as a job and not just for anyone who thinks I have all the time in the world to give them. I said all that to say, as an extrovert, as a leader, as a visionary; conserve your energy. Be kind to everyone, be social when need be, but pour that energy into yourself, your gift & the mutually beneficial relationships that feed you.
Melanated gem, you may be conflicted at times, wondering why you’re emotions are taking the best of you, and you don’t know what to do. I want you to know that, in this world, 2 things can be true, you can be a kind soul, and a warrior when need be. We should be angry at our treatment, anyone who says to just ignore it is lying to themselves. How do you watch a 9 year old Black girl be abused by the police, in this here 2021, and say, “it doesn’t affect me”. As I watch things like that, I see me, I am the little black girl. If an Asian, or a Jew, or a Middle Eastern had been impacted by that experience, their whole nation would be up in arms, and as I’ve said before people; Africans in America (African-Americans) are the only uncovered people in the world; the system feels that they have control over the identity of Black people, because that is how Blackness started in this country, under the authority of others, they don’t realize, that authority is over, and it never was theirs.
So, warriors, we can’t let the same system control how we express our emotions too, our emotions are ours and we do with them what we want. Who cares if you cry and scream, you should; who cares if you are angry at all white people, you have a right not to trust. Let people earn your trust, all people actually, but especially in workplaces, healthcare, law enforcement, where we are always mistreated. Your emotions are valid, your mistrust is valid, now we move these emotions to actions. We advocate, we act, we educate, we build each other up in action and in business, we pour that energy back into ourselves. It is ok to feel your anger, then after, act. Warrior, you made it this far, and the fact that you are still here means you have something to contribute. Continue to get angry warrior, then after, show us why God put you on this earth.
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I often find it funny when people argue about the cause of oppression, if slavery is attached to oppression today, and whether or not it affects people today. Have we become numb? In 2020, like 6 months ago, the world was on fire with people screaming Black Lives Matter in the streets. White supremacy unveiled it’s terror for the world to see, and people somehow think we’re stuck in the past. The past is the present people, just like in any relationship, the same issue will keep coming up until you address it.
What part of 400 years don’t people understand, even the American government knows the significance of the 400 years, they literally signed into legislation the 400 Years of African American History Commission Act in 2017, which was in action from 2018 to 2020. Everyone knows the impact of oppression but the ones impacted by it, because we have become numb, allowing people who don’t look like us to argue over our fate instead of taking charge. We can only fear if we’re outnumbered, but we’re not, we’re global. How can we expect the descendants our our enslavers to literally take interest in us when it has nothing to do with their generational wealth. We have to command and demand it, not wait on people to have a change of heart. like I said in another blog post titled, Love Thy Neighbor, “love ain’t gonna change laws and bring justice; we must be our own allies and use our power to get what’s rightfully ours.”
When people are tired, rightfully so, they feel the need to rest. I remember when I was in Namibia, hearing that sentiment amongst the Namibians, as apartheid ended for Namibians in 1994 much more recent than other African nations in the 1960’s. In transit back to the U.S., I had a conversation with a man in the South African airport (Namibia and South Africa were one under apartheid). He told me that after apartheid, Africans were so happy to be free, that they didn’t fight anymore for things like good jobs, they just took what they could get, and passed whatever they had down to their children (I actually just got really sad writing that). It is sad, that all over the world Black people are tired, and then the few that care are left to burden the rest. I know I do it willingly, but I always leave time for myself to enjoy, like from Friday night to Saturday night, I commit to nothing but fun. Anyway, if we as a people are still tired, and still fighting, wouldn’t it occur to us after 401 years to activate the changemaker inside of us?
How quickly we forget, how quickly we get tired! The problem is, people don’t know where to look or where to start, and everyone is looking for one leader. Who told you that you are not a very effective part in this movement? You very much are, but everyone is waiting for a new answer when, there’s no need to ask, we already know! We don’t need any more studies, research, theories, political jargon, we just need action. I always tell people that I have a master’s degree but I don’t use big words. I like to speak to all people, so you can hear me clearly. I have one mission, that is the total redemption of Black people, and I wish to activate the purpose in other Black people like me so we can move forward together!
So let’s not forget today, yesterday, 1619, 2020, and the millions of lives we are fighting for.
Stay strong warriors! & Join me for the remaining classes of the Dear Black People™ Webinar Series.
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