Posted on 3 Comments

Celebrate Yourself!

Celebrate yourself at all times, whether you have or you don’t have. You’ll find that when you celebrate yourself, you’re more likely to accomplish your goals. Energy begets energy. When you’re hard on yourself, you’ll find it harder to accomplish your goals because you’re looking at everything as half empty instead of half full. Besides colonizers and thieves, do you know what most peacefully successful people have in common? They believed in themselves even when times got hard.

People think I am special, I am, but people think I just have a special thing that they don’t have which is why things go my way. I don’t have anything more than what anyone else has, mind wise, we all have words and a brain, we can wire our brains to be positive. What I notice about these people who say that I’m special and have something others don’t is that they are usually pessimists; and trying to get them to see the positive is very hard. If you wonder why I am content, and I say things will go my way, and it does, it’s simply because I am an optimist who celebrates myself. Of course I pray everyday, and speak into the Universe how things will go, I don’t ask, I command. Instead of just asking for protection, I say “I ask for protection and to teach me how to protect myself”. Instead of just asking for victory, I say “I ask for today to be victorious, today will be victorious, and teach me how to be victorious”. If things don’t go a particular way, I don’t mark that as the end point, I look at that as a roadblock that I’m moving out of the way until it goes my way, so then the prayer becomes, “teach me how to be victorious over this roadblock”, and it works! It must be in alignment with my purpose of course. People assume there’s things I want, like a record deal, because I make music. I do not want a record deal, I like performing my music and poems for people and touching real people; enough artists have told stories of the industry that I’m not interested in. That’s no reason to think I’m lacking because I have no record deal, I get what I want, not what I don’t want.

So how can you possibly think that I’m special but the thing that I do, you are not willing to do? I celebrate other people, no matter if they are “ahead” or “behind” me or not. I celebrate people based on what and where they want to be. I don’t discourage anybody out of their dreams, and I help in ways I can. I celebrate myself and everyday I wake up and tell myself how great I am and that I am the greatest of all time. Then I believe it, then I live it in a world that always will say the opposite about me. I am not less likely because I am a Black woman, my blackness is an impediment to white society, I don’t live my life judging myself by what white people think. I live my life according to my design and the white people that get in the way get cast out too. Remember I won a victory 2 weeks ago against my apartment complex? Yea, that leasing manager hasn’t been back since. So again, I live in an African mind that says I am everything I’m supposed to be and I create balance with my part of life. That’s it.

Celebrate yourself!

Posted on Leave a comment

Subscribe to the Black Cabinet Podcast!

The Black Cabinet Podcast featuring myself, Ndidi Love, and Larry With The Robe On is sure to bring truth, controversy, solutions, and fun! on a range of Black issues, and solutions! First episode is uploading on Thursday, watch the trailer, like, comment, and subscribe!

Posted on 5 Comments

Confidence Builds, Hate Tears Down #ForwardFridays

attentive young black groupmates using laptop while preparing for exams with anonymous teacher

I can 100% promise that anyone who is hating on what you’re doing is not doing anything themselves, and if they are doing something, they are not happy with what they are doing. I am 100% sure of that because confidence builds up others, always.

There is no way that a person who is happy with themselves has the time or thoughts to think negatively of others. Trust, there is a difference between matching negative energy and just being negative. There are some people who can wish evil on you because they are jealous, I actually had someone wish that on me before and admit they were jealous. She looked stupid because everyone around noticed and was unpleased with her behavior, but because her energy was so evil, I matched it in spirit, and she did not get away with that nonsense. That is different from actively negatively wishing evil on people. I actually am serious when I say, I believe in and see the good in everyone. I can feel evil, yes, but ask anyone who knows me, I am always trying to get people to see the best in themselves, because I see the best in myself. People have this perception, especially in America, that positive people are trying to cover up something. One of the main reasons I hate this society is because good is seen as evil, and evil is seen as good. I can go to Africa, experience genuine positivity where people actually compliment me and speak life into me all day, and it’s not for any ulterior motive. For example, anytime I’m in Nigeria, all day literally I’ll be receiving prayers, uplifting, and obviously Nigerians are more blunt with their opinions, but it’s not the same hateration that happens here in America. Even when I was in Namibia, I had the same experience; people compliment each other, speak life into each other, and there is not as much tension. I remember one day I fell down awkwardly, and in America, I’m used to people around laughing so I literally expected people to laugh at the way I fell. People gathered around me and it was a family affair trying to help me up and making sure I was ok. I honestly didn’t expect it, and I realized that, that is where my African spirit comes from, I feel more at home in Africa where my happiness and care for others is normal.

It is only in America where my happiness is seen as some deficit. Or people think confident people are really masking some type of pain. That is the difference my dad made people, because he, as a person raised in Nigeria, spoke life into me all the time, made sure I believed in myself, told me all the best things about myself, and I carried that into my everyday life. So I really am confident, and even in life’s struggles, I have an overcomer mentality. The difference is, I instill that into others. I often tell people that the reason I had so much success with my students is because I believed in them wholeheartedly. I didn’t look at them as some disadvantaged kids, I didn’t even listen to the analysis by school social workers and administrators. With my students, whatever was told to me that can’t be done by them, was achieved with me. All that other “save the Black children” nonsense was background noise. Those are my kids, and if I have the confidence, they will too. I don’t understand the need to break everything down scientifically. The human mindset is simple, yet people make it so complicated, then they teach our children with these low standards and expectations based on some useless scientific analysis, and wonder why the kids are not exceeding their expectations. I set high expectations for the students and people in my life, and I walk through it with them. If there are children who need a different approach or have a different learning style, I pick up on that; I promise it’s not that hard if success is your goal and not meeting some low, state administered standard for “disadvantaged” children. Life really needs that, people who walk with us, not people who stand over there and expect us to catch up.

So if a person is truly confident, it will show in their interactions with others I believe. If the confidence reminds other people of what they are not doing or achieving, my friends, that is projection. The first step to confidence in my opinion is understanding your purpose and accepting it. I understand my purpose, I accept it, and I don’t see success as something over there in the future; I am successful now because I work towards and in my purpose every single day. Anyone who comes into my life benefits from that, I help in ways I can, and if I have nothing to contribute monetarily or physically, I give my words and true support. Unless you are harming someone, every idea is good and realistic in my eyes. It came to you for a reason, it is not dumb, or silly or redundant, it is yours. That’s why nobody can literally tell me anything I do is not good, unless you have suggestions that help it grow, it is noise. The number one people who have unnecessary feedback are people who are not following their own dreams. This is 100% money back guarantee, any useful person is a person who acts on their faith and ideas just as you do.

Join my Decolonize Your Mind Webinar series to learn how to tap into your purpose, build your confidence, and the confidence of others around you!

Make sure to shop now for your Melanated Gems, and build your confidence through empowering handmade jewelry with your choice of empowering words!

Posted on Leave a comment

Your Confidence is… #SoulfulSundays

black people posingfor photo

Melanated Gem, everyday when I wake up I ask God to present me to the world the way I was designed. As an Africana woman, our confidence often offends, and that’s a good thing. I’ll tell you why, the design of white inferiority systems was to create loyalty to whiteness, and be able to assimilate into their worlds. That’s why the narratives of what is good and acceptable has all been in proximity to whiteness. That’s also why as of 2020, when I still entered and office, I had to make an example out of a coworker who told me “Black women have bad hair”, or the whole of 2019 when I had to constantly correct white men who commented on my hair, and forced my boss to have a staff wide meeting about it. I remember in 2019, a group of white men were going on, with their wives there, about my hair. They were saying “you remind me of Flo-Jo with that big hair”, and their wives got annoyed. I was even asked by someone “why are you so confident?” Either way, our appearance and confidence is always on trial because white people feel they’re the norm, and they find it offensive that we are able to embrace ourselves, go against their norms, and even challenge them when they say something that requires challenging. For example, I remember another Black queen telling me, “wow, you’re confident around white people”, that was in 2018, because my whole life I have corrected white people who say wrong things about African cultures. For example, a white guy tried to lecture me about Nigeria and the main languages, when I’m the Nigerian; he said “there’s only one language in Nigeria, Igbo and Yoruba are just dialects”, that was in 2019, I said NO, I am Igbo, it is a complete separate language, culture, and tradition from Yoruba people. I’m only giving the dates for all the people saying racism ended with slavery. Trust me, I have the energy each and every time, these are not life changing situations because I know who I am, but I understand it’s not that way for everybody, and you have the right to be sad and angry if it does happen, I am not minimizing that.

Anyway, you know I don’t like to give life to too many narratives of white inferiority systems. Unfortunately, to make some points clear about how to raise our confidence, I have to address the behaviors and let you all know that it is not ok. For hundreds of years, our narratives have been falsely interpreted, we have been told that our hair is not professional, or to “not act black”; and even many of us, have told me, that they don’t eat certain foods around white people, IMAGINE! It’s all a bunch of bull to be honest. I always say, you make them your God when you’re always concerned about what they will say about you, and, it is disrespectful to God to care more about what a white person thinks about you, than just being yourself. I know what I am talking about, I can’t have a conversation til’ this with many people without them saying what white people will think. I’m like wow, I don’t even consider their opinions, because they are not relevant as it pertains to my beautiful life. Even if my life wasn’t beautiful, what a white person thinks of me can’t be anywhere on my list. Now the systems that they’ve created, and the lies that have been told to oppress Black people, are of top concern for me to dismantle, that’s macro; opinions are micro, and non-existent in my world. I’m from the suburbs and some of them have said I am from the ghetto, I am not offended by that at all because, if I was from the ghetto, I’m still one of the greatest of all time, so what are you really saying here? So just me being affirmative, loving myself, correcting wrong comments, knowing what I want, holding my head high, has offended many. That is why, when I pray to God in the morning, I ask God to present me to the world as myself, even if it offends, and let it offend, so long as it’s authentic. I am glad to offend you, because you know that you don’t own me. I walk away from your offers, low-balling offers at that, I escape your ideologies, I hurt your ego, I don’t protect you, because I have to do what protects me, and honestly dismantling a system can start from these micro interactions that happen daily.

Your confidence is your mark in this world. Once you live life by design, you activate a uniqueness in you that cannot be taken away. Even if someone’s purpose is similar to yours, it is designed to do something different. Therefore, no need to compete, just be. I have this blog, and many other things, and I love and hype up everything I do, why? because I am certain it belongs here. I know everybody won’t like it, but because I live by design, I know that when God gave me a gift, I was given an audience. That is exclusive of what white people think of me (insert laugh emoji), I have to laugh because that is the one thing I want to eradicate my people of, is thinking that a white persons thoughts will hinder them. Once we all walk in our designs, we dismantle a system while building up ourselves, because we are each actively living in confidence and not fear. I tell you, confidence for Black people will do much more than you think it will do, and it will be a key to unity. When I say confidence, I mean holding yourself to a standard as well, not only acing on what you believe in, but making sure it builds up Africana people.

My Africana people, you are great. Don’t listen to people who tell you to humble yourself in this system, and wait your turn. In this world, humbling myself means – don’t get to big to the point of disrespecting people and tearing people down to think I am better than them, but let’s be clear, you have every right to get what’s yours. Faith without works is dead! We have been taught to wait while unqualified white kids get positions and higher pay than the black person next to them with a masters and years of experience (I used to work in HR, I know!). So no more of that beloveds, go after what you want, with your head high, and speak your experience, you are brilliant. Don’t forget your ancestors built the entire western world with intelligent language systems – (ex. Nsibidi, Andinkra). I used to teach and I was always told that the children, 99% Black, couldn’t do this and that, blah blah blah, and I would prove them wrong every single time. Nobody can tell me what a Black person can’t do, because I’ve exceeded expectations with Black Children, and even adults, that is why my students at the lowest performing school where I was in Namibia were the only ones making PowerPoints. Am I talking too much? Oh well, I am just trying to make sure you know that you are great, Melanated Gem. By the way, have you purchased any Melanated Gem items yet? You should! This body jewelry empowers you and reminds you of who you are with empowering messages and bright colors to represent the colorfulness of the Global Africana Diaspora. Check out these reviews (review #2) from a customer who purchased the other day! Also, get your book of poems, I wrote those to inspire you too! You are love, gem.

~Ndidi Love~