Love sustains all. Whether it’s politics, economics, or community, anything done for people must be done out of love for the people. Or else at the sign of trouble, it can be taken away, and given up on.
I see so many people saying that we need this and that for liberation, I rarely hear love. Our people are hurting, whether they’re happy or not, the affect of trauma on our Global Black people has us hurting. We need love. People are sustained by love, people are pushed by love. Being encouraged by someone who loves you can take you to the next level, where someone who falsely encouraged you couldn’t take you. Loves moves, love uplifts, and the reason we were taught to hate each other (diaspora wars, colorism, etc) was so that it would be hard to love each other. Love would lift us up faster than any politics would, and even push us towards politics that are best for us.
You know, when you have two people building a house, I’m sure it would take longer to build the house. Imagine if 20 people were building that same house, how long do you think it will take? As Africana people all over the world, without realizing, we have internalized the “every man for himself” mentality. Coupled with that, we have internalized that we need to fight for or compete with each other for resources because that is what we were taught by capitalism. Meanwhile, the people that created capitalism and taught us to fight for resources, unified to gain their resources, and now they pretend to fight with one another when they really have each other‘s back – ex. Democrat vs. republican, all represent the same system.
Now, I don’t care if you’re rich or poor, wealthy or modest, old money or new money; this is something that we face around the whole entire global African community. What we need to realize is, the quicker we each stand up for our truth we will naturally begin to join together with others who are willing to build this house. When we depend on and look to 1 or 2 leaders to do all the work, the tension rises, that is why each Black leader we have is criticized and scrutinized on every level. It’s similar to how people look at God, we were taught that all we have to do is believe in God, and somehow that would make everything better. But I ask people, where is the faith piece? You can believe in anything that you wanna believe in, but if you don’t act, then nothing will get done – “faith without works is dead”. That is why we pray, ask for direction, then move with that direction. In the Global Black Diaspora, we have treated our leaders the same way. That is why even though a lot of people call me a leader, I always encourage people to think for themselves, because I never want to be the person who everyone is looking to, to the point where they forget who they are. I believe true leadership is allowing the people who follow you to create their own paths. This is a journey for all of us, whatever I do will benefit all Black people. That is why I created my courses. As a teacher first, my goal was to always make sure my students understood for themselves, and then I made sure that they were able to teach each other what I taught them. If I had just finished teaching a concept, and maybe 1 or 2 children still had questions, I would ask the students who know and gained a grasp of the concept to please help their fellow student. I would like to add that the majority of the time it was the “misbehaved” students who grasped the concepts, and the ones that I asked to help the other students. It made them feel important that I asked them to help their fellow classmate. Anyway back to what I was saying. We need to help each other release the tension, there is this inherent fear constantly running in our mind about “what if?”, but I guarantee you that once you begin to live out your true calling, the work will get done.
Again, as I sat there and called each of the Congress and Senate members in 2020, each and every time I thought I would be rejected, because again, they kept reminding me that they usually don’t talk to non-constituents. I went on to send a 2nd round of letters to Senate and Congress, and I didn’t ask people to help me because I said, “let me just get it done”, and the 1st time I asked people, they said it was “too much” to call their Congress member – I called 500+, 1 is too much? The next time though, I will be asking people to come forth and help me. This is not about begging the government to do anything for us as a people, it is creating a sound of unity with each other, and noncompliance with the government, while making everyone aware that we are fighting for our own change. Anyway, back to what I was saying again. We are the generation that is not going to be comfortable until we get it right. Even those who think they live comfortably, when the weight of the world is on the shoulders of people who look like you, I truly don’t believe you can really be satisfied. I know all of what I accomplished in my life, but each and every time I keep thinking I want the majority of people who look like me to be freely able to accomplish the same things. I say majority because even if you have 100 people who can benefit from something, there may be 1 or 2 that’s still choose otherwise. I think there is a running myth that the majority of Black people don’t want something different than what we have right now, but when I was a case manager I had hundreds of clients (99% Black), and I will say that only a sliver of them truly didn’t want to make change in their lives, but then again they had more deeper rooted issues than I could get to in the position I was in. Now I do understand also that my upbringing required excellence out of me, but that is why I wish to gift that excellence to those who may not have had access to the encouragement I received. I just feel honored to be able to share that with people, I have never been the type to keep it to myself, the encouragement that I received is the encouragement that I give to others and that is why I believe it was given to me, so that I can share it genuinely with the people that I am looking to help achieve greatness. Needless to say, I’m doing my part, and I truly just wish to help others get to their part, so let us all release the tension of each other and do our parts, to get to global Black freedom as we all desire. Amen.
Hello all, I want to bring this topic back, by the way, did you watch our first podcast episode about social media’s impact on family? Check it out here!
About this pick me vs feminist debate, let me define it for you. A “pick me” is a woman that apparently agrees with everything that a man says they should be and in turn get “picked” to be in a relationship. Examples include – 1. Doing everything your man says, shutting up and being his peace, have everything done for him by the time he gets home, letting him lead, etc. Apparently if you’re not a “pick me”, you’re a feminist. A feminist is someone who fights for women’s rights, wants equality with men, and doesn’t believe in traditional roles. A “simp” is a man who does everything for his woman, spends all his money, listens to her, etc. Apparently if you’re not a “simp”, you are an alpha male. An alpha male is someone who is dominant, “aggressive”, takes charge, exerts authority over his woman, etc. that’s my understanding and I believe most people who read this will be able to pick up on the ideas here. Here’s my thing…
There’s an assumption that if you’re not one, you’re the other. There’s an assumption that a woman who disagrees with being quiet for her man and only speaking when he asks her to is a feminist. From all my analysis, this is what I’ve noticed. I often talk about living in extremes, and this, my friends, is an example of living in extremes and not having balance. What if you’re just a boss Empress doing her thing and making a lasting impact in the world with her man? Is there room for women and men who balance each other out and work together? Still understanding their separate genders, but not allowing it to cause friction?
I always say, I was given a clear purpose on this earth. Anyone I get with and marry is going to be a partner in helping me reach that goal, and vice versa. That is what I like about my current relationship. I believe we are to be to each other what we need, and not focus so much on what the outside world says. The same way I am an individual, my relationship is going to be it’s own separate entity apart from everyone else’s. We each have our own successes, traumas, bloodlines, fears, backgrounds, that make us unique. Whether or not I displayed feminist or pick me qualities, can I be what my man needs for his personal traumas? That is more important to me. How do we mesh, and is how we mesh going to be present in our children? How about our bloodlines, will us coming together make the next generation better? Are we sending whole or broken children into the world? Hey listen, we have to start thinking deeper if we are going to make progress as a community in relationships. Everyone can say what they’ll be, but when those real life situations come up, everyone will do what’s best for them.
Obviously I’m a woman, I have breasts and a reproductive system that is active. All parts of my body work together and not apart, to solidify the gender that I am. To me, that’s enough for me to be feminine. Obviously there are traits that have been visible for thousands of years that separate men from women outside of biology alone, but the way people are defining femininity and masculinity these days is very face value. If he has a tight shirt on with muscles and making money then he’s a real man. If she has heels on and is very quiet and follows a man wherever he goes that’s feminine. That, to me, is ridiculous. In ten years, I will not be the same person, I’ll have the same character, but I’ll have children, a generational business, and a different outlook depending on the events of the world. We have to get with people we really see ourselves with because people will change and grow, from size, to career, to anything. We should want to contribute to that growth and not put it in a box.
Why am I saying all this? Because as we communicate our needs let’s be real about what we need. If a man asks you what you need and you say healing, then that’s what you need. Your definition of what you need doesn’t have to be based on society, ex. “I need a strong man who makes this amount of money”. If he does, fine, nothing wrong with that, but you are sure that you need healing and you want the relationship to help facilitate that, can he be a safe space for you?
Just look at all parts of a person is what I’m saying.
I have no problem with rich people. Whether you’re rich or poor, your character is what it is.
If that rich person has the heart to help and raise people out of poverty, not just to make minimum wage but live a good life, I have no problem with that rich person. Character trumps all, a lot of people want to put rich Black people in a bubble, if you want to hold them accountable, hold them accountable, but I don’t believe on turning your back on someone just because they became rich.
The problem is, Black people have been bamboozled for hundreds of years. People come and take our resources, lying and doing what else they need to do to deceive us into giving up what’s ours, and we’re left with nothing, or fighting for what’s left – even on our own continent. Greed and capitalism are ways of life that are foreign to us, but the system has told and deceived everyone into believing that it’s the superior way of life. Those of us who have adopted the style have abused it because a lot of times it is used to throw in other Black peoples faces that “look at me, if you want to be where I am then work”, however, that still is an issue of character. If someone works hard and earns their wealth an understands that they owe their community that same opportunity, then I’d say that’s what we need to be encouraging, not capitalism and competition. I watched my dad do it, he gained his wealth and gave, that is why I do not judge people or look for reasons to manipulate, because in my heart any wealth I gain will benefit my people and especially my children and great grandchildren will instill that into their generation.
Let us focus on character building. As a community, we have been bamboozled into thinking this fight is all about resources, but if we gain back the resources and no character, we will be fighting each other back into losing our resources. Divide and conquer is deep y’all: support black business, build character, pour the money back into our communities, and keep building and taking back what’s ours so we can rid ourselves of this disease called white inferiority – masked as “supremacy”.