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Black Love is Necessary

When two Black people love each other in a purpose filled way, it is literally breaking a generational curse. At one point in this country, it was illegal for Black women and men to marry each other, and it broke something in us at the time. The thing is, all ethnicities prefer their own, the only people who are told it is racist to love their own is Black people. I remember having a white Colombian roommate telling me she doesn’t like Black guys, I agreed, I didn’t like her men either, we were cool as heck, how can I be mad that she loves her own men? I even remember my Asian undergrad students when I was a writing lab instructor, they told me they only dated Asian men, I was like, “that’s what’s up!” Everyone wants to create a family in their image, it’s normal.

Black love is special, though. We are changing the trajectory of our bloodlines and legacies by creating Black families. Black families, means Black children; and that’s the point – legacy is not just money or a business, it’s the life you leave and the legacy you leave in other human beings to carry on. That is why I focus on purpose in relationships. When you move with purpose, and your partner does too, you care about more things than just who is “alpha” and “pick me”, you care about legacy and how that legacy is going to shine in your children and generations. Hello! We are building a nation, a nation of strong survivors, it’s time to leave the little things behind and really start thinking about what the new Black legacy is going to look like. We have the opportunity to be that legacy and change the trajectory of everything happening right now. Choose a Black love that’ll last and outlast any negativity going on. Thank you!

Well, we came up in a time where we didn’t see the best for Black people. Diaspora wars and division made it difficult, but we lasted, now people are waking up. Imagine creating a family that can live out what we missed, a little brown face that can enjoy her Diaspora sisters and brothers in harmony. They walk up to each other and greet each other in love – we can only create that with Black love. I don’t know about you but, I want a daughter just like me. Brown like me, loud like me, warrior like me, and pretty like me. She’ll be uplifting her toddler sistren and brethren while I uplift their parents. Can you imagine? I can only creat that with Black Love.

Black love is the only way for where we’re going. Black love is a necessary love.

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Black Women are Mother Earth

You plant a seed in the earth & provide a good environment for it to grow. Men plant their seed in the woman & have to create a good environment for it to grow. It’s the same concept.

I always believe that the thing the world hates and oppresses the most is what we need to look to for hope. You see, when a bully bullies, there’s something they are trying to suppress in that person, they’re jealous so they bully to make the victim feel bad, because the bully feels less than. On a macro level, that can be said about Black people, the bullies only bully us because for hundreds of years consistently we’ve had what they needed. Whether resources, ideas, or talent. Imagine if every Black person was to go back to Africa today, there would be no sports culture, no hip hop culture, no fashion culture; we make everything hot! Also there are many government sectors that benefit from the oppression of Black people.

Anyway, my mind works deep. I thought, if white men have positioned themselves as the symbol of authority, and the most mistreated person in the world is the Black woman, then there must be something that they are trying to hide about the Black woman. We already know as I’ve told you that in precolonial Africa, the woman was seen as closer to God for our ability to give birth. Giving birth is key to building communities since the people have to come from somewhere. So back to the first paragraph, the conditions for Black women giving birth are the worst among any race, and the medical system is purposely creating unhealthy environments for Black women to try to prohibit us from giving birth. This is not a class issue, Beyoncé and Serena Williams both stated how their concerns were ignored by doctors. Black women and children are 4-11x more than likely to be put in conditions to die during childbirth above any other race. When I think of this, I think, the Black woman is the direct enemy of white men, and they attack us because they know that strong communities are built when the women are taken care of. They not only mistreat us medically, they work over a lifetime to cause us health and mental issues. They created these useless standards for femininity and womanhood, – which, from birth, many Black girls are made to feel less than beautiful; we’ve been overworked more than any race or gender (70%), we’ve been mocked for our own standards of beauty- minimized then copied by other women; we’ve been sexually violated by white men the most – on and off the continent, and I am convinced that their purpose is to try to eliminate the Black race through the mistreatment of Black women. The United Nations has all these “family” planning initiatives in Africa to try to reduce the amount of women having children, listen, Black woman are forever, we are not going anywhere.

The early Roman church recognized the mother of God as a Black woman, there is something about us that is so highly imitated across every race in the world. Gay men have created a culture based on the actions and vernacular of Black women. celebrities have all gotten big butts to imitate Black women. Black women have been used to write many hit songs sung by non-Black people. The list goes on and on, the only answer is, life comes from us, ALL life.

Life began with Black women on mama Africa. Even the earth is referred to as Mother Earth, and Africa as Mama Africa. Any other continent referred to as mama or mother? Black women have a command that no other woman has, even in oppression, we are still solid. Many African women led people to freedom – Aba Women’s riot, Harriet Tubman, etc., you know that it is, but history gives more credit to men. Oh don’t get me wrong, Black women and Black men need each other. Did you know at one point in America it was illegal for Black women and men to marry each other? Why? Because white men needed easier access to terrorize Black women without our husbands trying to defend us. This wasn’t that long ago people, some of those white lawmakers are still alive, and if not their children are and hold the same ideas. I told you, they have directly tried to attack us for years. I understand the attacks against the Black community as a whole, but understand, women have the womb, there is a direct attack on our womb.

So, mama Africa, Mother Earth, the incomparable Black woman; today I want you to walk with your head high and your back straight. Demand respect everywhere you go, do not accept less than what you deserve, love yourself in all forms, and recognize your superpower. The world will try to take from you to leave you with nothing, but preserve your resources, you are what the world needs, but we don’t owe it to anybody. Let them earn it, let them recognize and honor the Goddess in us. We are the original Mother Earth, we have the power to use our words to force evil out and command the environments around us. Any seed planter in us must provide the greatest environment for us to grow. Amen.

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My Why: My Heart is For My People

Wherever my people are, I’m concerned with what’s going on with them. I want to know what we think and feel, I want to know what we like. I know that all of us are not the same, but That is the beauty of who we are.

Since I was a kid, I always paid attention to what was going on with Black people, you all know that, I’ve told you that. However, I believe that I was put on this earth for my people. I do not believe that everyone has to have the same cause, but I’m well aware that it’s all I think about, and any idea I come up with always has my people in mind.

I am here to liberate the minds of my people through education and entertainment to help them be more confident in whatever it is they do. I believe in the small steps, the small steps lead to great results. I believe in being the change I want to see.

I always say my mind is wired in Blackness, meaning, I have no other thought process. Like when a person walks in a house and thinks of ways it can be decorated, I don’t do that when I walk into a house at all, but that person is a decorator. When I see Black people and think of ways to make them better and uplift them, I’m a decorator, decorating the lives of Black people everyday. When I say make better, I mean their soul, how can I be a light?

In my eyes we do no wrong, even though we do, but it’s a child I’ll protect, I’m not anybody’s mama yet, but I’m the mama of Black unity and I mean it, nothing else makes me happier.

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Pick Me Pick Me Simp Me Simp Me!

Hello all, I want to bring this topic back, by the way, did you watch our first podcast episode about social media’s impact on family? Check it out here!

About this pick me vs feminist debate, let me define it for you. A “pick me” is a woman that apparently agrees with everything that a man says they should be and in turn get “picked” to be in a relationship. Examples include – 1. Doing everything your man says, shutting up and being his peace, have everything done for him by the time he gets home, letting him lead, etc. Apparently if you’re not a “pick me”, you’re a feminist. A feminist is someone who fights for women’s rights, wants equality with men, and doesn’t believe in traditional roles. A “simp” is a man who does everything for his woman, spends all his money, listens to her, etc. Apparently if you’re not a “simp”, you are an alpha male. An alpha male is someone who is dominant, “aggressive”, takes charge, exerts authority over his woman, etc. that’s my understanding and I believe most people who read this will be able to pick up on the ideas here. Here’s my thing…

There’s an assumption that if you’re not one, you’re the other. There’s an assumption that a woman who disagrees with being quiet for her man and only speaking when he asks her to is a feminist. From all my analysis, this is what I’ve noticed. I often talk about living in extremes, and this, my friends, is an example of living in extremes and not having balance. What if you’re just a boss Empress doing her thing and making a lasting impact in the world with her man? Is there room for women and men who balance each other out and work together? Still understanding their separate genders, but not allowing it to cause friction?

I always say, I was given a clear purpose on this earth. Anyone I get with and marry is going to be a partner in helping me reach that goal, and vice versa. That is what I like about my current relationship. I believe we are to be to each other what we need, and not focus so much on what the outside world says. The same way I am an individual, my relationship is going to be it’s own separate entity apart from everyone else’s. We each have our own successes, traumas, bloodlines, fears, backgrounds, that make us unique. Whether or not I displayed feminist or pick me qualities, can I be what my man needs for his personal traumas? That is more important to me. How do we mesh, and is how we mesh going to be present in our children? How about our bloodlines, will us coming together make the next generation better? Are we sending whole or broken children into the world? Hey listen, we have to start thinking deeper if we are going to make progress as a community in relationships. Everyone can say what they’ll be, but when those real life situations come up, everyone will do what’s best for them.

Obviously I’m a woman, I have breasts and a reproductive system that is active. All parts of my body work together and not apart, to solidify the gender that I am. To me, that’s enough for me to be feminine. Obviously there are traits that have been visible for thousands of years that separate men from women outside of biology alone, but the way people are defining femininity and masculinity these days is very face value. If he has a tight shirt on with muscles and making money then he’s a real man. If she has heels on and is very quiet and follows a man wherever he goes that’s feminine. That, to me, is ridiculous. In ten years, I will not be the same person, I’ll have the same character, but I’ll have children, a generational business, and a different outlook depending on the events of the world. We have to get with people we really see ourselves with because people will change and grow, from size, to career, to anything. We should want to contribute to that growth and not put it in a box.

Why am I saying all this? Because as we communicate our needs let’s be real about what we need. If a man asks you what you need and you say healing, then that’s what you need. Your definition of what you need doesn’t have to be based on society, ex. “I need a strong man who makes this amount of money”. If he does, fine, nothing wrong with that, but you are sure that you need healing and you want the relationship to help facilitate that, can he be a safe space for you?

Just look at all parts of a person is what I’m saying.

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