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This is for the Extroverts: #ThrowbackThursday… What Was I Thinking?!

Hello All! Welcome to the 2nd edition of Throwback Thursday on the new blogging schedule. This is the 1st Thursday of the month where I share a throwback post and explain what I was thinking during that time. This is for the Extroverts was written at a time of extreme peace in my life, and I am still experiencing that peace, not a nagging feeling that someone is plotting against me like Judas. At the time I had eliminated so many people, places, and things, and refocused. I began a period of solitude that was necessary to refocus on my purpose. That solitude as I’ve talked about many times was revealed through the stories of Joseph, Ruth, Moses, and Jesus 40 days fast in the bible, also greats like Nelson Mandela and Marcus Garvey. The conclusion of these was that people with callings must find themselves by themselves for a period of time to test their actual faith and sharpen their gifts. I am grateful for that time, as I was sharpened and I depended on faith alone, that is why I don’t care what anyone calls their faith, I call my faith the faith of the ancestors. Faith brought me to the point of no worry, til’ this day, and even when the pandemic started I had no worry, it is a time I had waited for, and had been prepared for through the period of solitude; a shift in the history of the world. If I had skipped all that is mentioned below, I would have been shaken up, I wasn’t, I just continued in my purpose. I teach my fellow Melanated Gems how to do the same through my Dear Black People Webinar Series that starts again at the end of this month, it also looks different for everyone, I talk about that too. However, this is for the extroverts with a gift that need to set boundaries. People will be drawn to our gifts, but they may not have the capacity to give back. It’s the story of Black people, so giving, but we haven’t gotten back a slither of the love, gifts, inventions, wealth, resources, and everything else that we’ve given the world. We have to as a people find ourselves in solitude until we can properly set up boundaries and interact normally with others again, just as it happened in my life, AMEN! Enjoy below!

1. Define your Gift

2. Conserve energy & pour that energy into the gift

3. Identify people that align with your gift

4. Create boundaries & build solid friendships with those who meet those boundaries, in alignment with the gift.

I put a lot into myself this year and last year more than ever and the results have been extremely beneficial. The reason is because as an extrovert, I spent a lot of time pouring into people, praying for people, motivating people, and being an extremely good friend; people start depending on that, to the point where I’d be drained and didn’t have enough time to pour all that into myself. By the time it was my turn to be filled up people would be nowhere to be found. I spent hours consoling people, motivating them, and praying for them with them not being able to do the same. Now trust me, I’ve had extremely good friends, about three in my entire life. When I say good friends, I mean people who would do for me just as I would do for them and we didn’t offend each other in a way that was intentional; we barely even made each other mad, in fact – never. Everything that we didn’t understand about each other we just talked out. But as an extrovert, getting older, more involved and active in various communities and causes, I found myself being surrounded by people who were drawn to my abilities but not concerned about me. & this is not something I’m making up; elders, professors, church leaders, & bosses in the workplace have always told me that I am a visionary with great ambition; always having a plan, ready to get things done, but people don’t have the same motivation as me, so I need to be careful. One church elder specifically said “people will use you because of your gift so you have to be careful.”

I am saying all of this for a reason, we have to know ourselves, and we have to know who’s around us. 2018 was my last year being social; I went to a few weddings but for the most part I poured so much into myself. This year, 2019, I have been rarely social; my phone has been so dry, & I’ve been at peace. I decided to cut off all energy from all sources and let things naturally gravitate. I haven’t been quick to contact anyone, except for when I am strongly led to open up communication. Other than that most communication that I’ve had has been incoming. I deleted 90% of my numbers just to see which people would stay in contact and which ones would not, because nobody can ever say that I lack communication, so at that point I was deleting numbers I knew I did my part. I take my life extremely seriously because I can’t afford to not be in alignment with my life goals all due to being connected with the wrong people. & as I always say, just because they’re not meant for me doesn’t mean they’re bad people.

I’m not afraid to be by myself, because I asked God to teach me what to do with my time. As an extrovert at times I get bored, but I have enjoyed this rest and just pouring back into myself in a way like never before. I’m telling this story because it is highly important for us to get serious about the people in our lives; we seek peace, & we have so much energy coming in that we never know what is distracting our peace. Understand that in a world where the majority are followers & few are leaders, strong boundaries have to be set to protect our peace & not be led astray. Understand this is context: all that praying, all that motivating, all that consoling I did for others I really needed to do for myself, & the lack of peace I experienced was because I had too many ppl extracting from my gift. Lack of peace is not fun, it’s draining. I decided that if I’m going to counsel I’m going to get paid to do it as a job and not just for anyone who thinks I have all the time in the world to give them. I said all that to say, as an extrovert, as a leader, as a visionary; conserve your energy. Be kind to everyone, be social when need be, but pour that energy into yourself, your gift & the mutually beneficial relationships that feed you.


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Jumping the Broom, no, Crossing the Sticks? Or Both! #Throwback Black History Month Post

Hello All! This blog post featured below is probably the shortest blog post I’ve ever written, but not much explanation was needed. I’ve often had to challenge myself when it comes to Black history. Something that seems so small usually means something so big, but the narrative having been watered down doesn’t always allow us to fully appreciate it. Just as any other culture who has customs, when it is told in it’s original form, not downplayed by outsiders, it can be authentically passed down to generations. Well, considering the great value Africans held for nature, I am pretty sure this crossing sticks custom held much more meaning outside of slavery, but when that communication was cut off, we had to reinvent many traditions, however, we’ve always found a way to remain African. That is why for us specifically, who have had our cultures robbed and forced to replace with others, being African is in spirit! I remember once meeting a woman who had love for basketweaving, and she told me that once she did her ancestry test, she found out that the tribe she is a descendant of from in Ghana was famous for basketweaving. I mention this because, melanated gems, we may have love for something that may mean so little to those around us, but it tells a greater story of our ancestry than we ever knew. Wow! This excerpt is longer than the original blog post, enjoy below!


We’ve all heard of the wedding tradition of jumping the broom, but what about crossing sticks? Crossing sticks is a tradition that dates back to the slavery era where African-American couples demonstrated their commitment by crossing tall wooden sticks. Crossing the sticks, represented the power and life force within trees which, for the couple, symbolized a strong and grounded beginning.


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Siddi People of Pakistan: #Throwback Black History Month Post

Hello All! I can see that you really like these throwback Black History Month posts. I have been posting most of them to my twitter page (are you following me yet?), and sharing one a day with you all to respect your inbox. Since there is only 3 more days in Black History Month, in which I’ll only be posting 2 of those days, I decided to give you a little treat. Yesterday I posted on twitter about Afro-Palestinians that live in Palestine. Today I want to feature a throwback post about the Siddi people who live in Pakistan and have lived there for the past 600 years! They are descendants of the Bantu people of Africa, unfortunately they arrived in Pakistan through slavery. Enjoy the post, and check out more information on the SIddi of Pakistan, here, The Siddi Project, which highlights South Asia’s African Diaspora.


Check out this article on the Siddi people; the Black population in Pakistan who have lived there for the past 600 years!

“Even though it is well-documented that Africans gave birth to the world, it is generally little known that the Siddi or Sheedi people, who are descendants of the Bantu people of Southeastern Africa, have lived in rural India and parts of Pakistan for the last 600 years.

The Siddi arrived to the aforementioned regions under orders from Arab and Portuguese merchants to work as slave laborers. And today, the Siddi community is numbered around 20,000 to 55,000 persons across the region with the majority of them being Sufi Muslims. There are also practicing Hindus and Roman Catholics as well among the number.”

Read the rest of the article here:

Enjoy Loves! ❤️

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Gnawa Music of Morocco: #Throwback Black History Month Post

Hello All! I remember going to the DC Africa Celebration a few years ago and being happy and excited that they were featuring the Gnawa music of Morocco. I was excited because North Africa is often separated from Africa, and associated with the Middle East, which is geographically impossible. Especially when the Gnawa music of Morocco is associated with West African influences. Africa is Africa! Enjoy the post, and let me know any other cultures you would like to see highlighted on this blog. We celebrate Black history and Black currency (current-see) all year long!


Gnawa Music of Morocco 

I enjoyed the traditional Moroccan music heard today at the DC Africa Celebration. I was dancing, and bopping my head, and although I could not understand the words, it interested me. I mentioned to my friend that Morocco is a place that is never highlighted. I was glad that at an African festival, the culture of Morocco was highlighted, especially with a traditional performance. We often see Morocco as a place that people tend to separate from modern day Africa, but we must remember that Morocco is still in Africa! 

The gnawa music is the genre of music that was performed tonight. As I experienced, there is repetition of the same phrase, and the music increased in tempo as the song went by. The performers were clanking these metal devices, called krakebs, and I was just thinking “their fingers must hurt!” They did dance performances that were similar to modern day tap dance, and very fast moves with their feet. 

Gnawa has musical influences traced from west Africa, and combines religious songs and rhythms of African Islam. 

Check out a video above! 

Enjoy Loves! ❤️