The DiasporAfri blog; written by Ndidi Love, focuses on educational content, feature interviews for DiasporAfri’s interview Series, and more! Be sure to subscribe! & subscribe to my DiasporAfri YouTube channel as well!
Women, change your idea of what womanhood has to look like, & accept that the qualities you bring to the world are just as feminine as the hyper sense that’s pushed in this world. Strength is beauty, dark skin is beauty, we are the revolution that’s being televised.
However we choose to express our femininity is beautiful; it’s more about staying true to who we are in alignment with our purpose. Not everything we tell ourselves is true but we literally have to align ourselves with God’s will. I did that work, & it’s hard. We let go of a lot.
Our personalities are directly attached to who God wanted us to influence in this world. When we ask God “what was your idea when you created me” that forces us to accept all of it & correct the parts that are not aligned with what God said. We’re not perfect but we try.
I’m not talking religion, I’m talking faith. Faith of the ancestors when they had no reference or anything to read. Just faith in God that’s it. This work is hard but it’s worth it.
Whether you show your body or cover it up, one is not better than the other, it just depends on how you feel like presenting yourself, clothes & makeup is manmade. It’s beautiful, I too, like cute clothes & light makeup; but most of all I like comfort. Some like high heels & lots of makeup, I feel that’s beautiful too.
I have had to change my own view around women’s bodies & realize that most rules of women’s bodies came from men; I will not put that on another woman. However she expresses her femininity is up to her. How I express mine is up to me, but we don’t get to judge one another.
What helped me is asking myself why I’m doing something. I know I’m not out here selling sex or looking for attention, I just like this shirt because I like this shirt, is my skin a crime? Never. But just because I wear a long dress doesn’t make me wholesome.
I am wholesome in short shorts & crop top. If I wear baggy jeans, I’m still a woman. The essence of a woman is a spirit. We feel masculine & feminine energy it can’t be changed based on what we wear or what we change about ourselves.
To my brown & deep brown sisters, we are feminine. I’ve been seeing things online about the skin tone of a woman being attached to femininity. It is my ovaries, not skin tone that determines my gender. Masculinity has been attached to dark skin, that’s a direct effect of colonialism.
Worth is not attached to color, trying to make a woman’s worth based on her hair, skin, or clothing choice is dangerous. Let’s understand that any straying away from that does not change the sex or worth of a person, it just specifies their preferences.
Let us nurture women, & love women as the givers of life in this earth. Especially black women, we deserve for our femininity to be nurtured & embraced.
Black girls actions; whether the same as another ethnicity of women or not; will always be perceived as more aggressive. When other races “complain” it’s called a movement for change, but for us it’s just complaining.
Keep doing you my brown & deep brown sisters. Don’t ever question yourself. Strength is a beautiful feminine trait. “Strength & honor are her clothing, & she shall rejoice in time to come” Proverbs 31.
& I’ll stand up for every black girl that is wrongfully demonized. When the other races of women are praised for their strength. Colonialism really ruined y’all. Black women have received the worst treatment in the world amongst any group in any part of the world. That’s stats.
Yes women are effected, but black women are the most disrespected group of people on the planet. That’s it. We get it from the world, our own men, & each other as women.
I treat all black women with respect & I’ll never publicly disrespect another black woman.
1. Define your Gift
2. Conserve energy & pour that energy into the gift
3. Identify people that align with your gift
4. Create boundaries & build solid friendships with those who meet those boundaries, in alignment with the gift.
I put a lot into myself this year and last year more than ever and the results have been extremely beneficial. The reason is because as an extrovert, I spent a lot of time pouring into people, praying for people, motivating people, and being an extremely good friend; people start depending on that, to the point where I’d be drained and didn’t have enough time to pour all that into myself. By the time it was my turn to be filled up people would be nowhere to be found. I spent hours consoling people, motivating them, and praying for them with them not being able to do the same. Now trust me, I’ve had extremely good friends, about three in my entire life. When I say good friends, I mean people who would do for me just as I would do for them and we didn’t offend each other in a way that was intentional; we barely even made each other mad, in fact – never. Everything that we didn’t understand about each other we just talked out. But as an extrovert, getting older, more involved and active in various communities and causes, I found myself being surrounded by people who were drawn to my abilities but not concerned about me. & this is not something I’m making up; elders, professors, church leaders, & bosses in the workplace have always told me that I am a visionary with great ambition; always having a plan, ready to get things done, but people don’t have the same motivation as me, so I need to be careful. One church elder specifically said “people will use you because of your gift so you have to be careful.”
I am saying all of this for a reason, we have to know ourselves, and we have to know who’s around us. 2018 was my last year being social; I went to a few weddings but for the most part I poured so much into myself. This year, 2019, I have been rarely social; my phone has been so dry, & I’ve been at peace. I decided to cut off all energy from all sources and let things naturally gravitate. I haven’t been quick to contact anyone, except for when I am strongly led to open up communication. Other than that most communication that I’ve had has been incoming. I deleted 90% of my numbers just to see which people would stay in contact and which ones would not, because nobody can ever say that I lack communication, so at that point I was deleting numbers I knew I did my part. I take my life extremely seriously because I can’t afford to not be in alignment with my life goals all due to being connected with the wrong people. & as I always say, just because they’re not meant for me doesn’t mean they’re bad people.
I’m not afraid to be by myself, because I asked God to teach me what to do with my time. As an extrovert at times I get bored, but I have enjoyed this rest and just pouring back into myself in a way like never before. I’m telling this story because it is highly important for us to get serious about the people in our lives; we seek peace, & we have so much energy coming in that we never know what is distracting our peace. Understand that in a world where the majority are followers & few are leaders, strong boundaries have to be set to protect our peace & not be led astray. Understand this is context: all that praying, all that motivating, all that consoling I did for others I really needed to do for myself, & the lack of peace I experienced was because I had too many ppl extracting from my gift. Lack of peace is not fun, it’s draining. I decided that if I’m going to counsel I’m going to get paid to do it as a job and not just for anyone who thinks I have all the time in the world to give them. I said all that to say, as an extrovert, as a leader, as a visionary; conserve your energy. Be kind to everyone, be social when need be, but pour that energy into yourself, your gift & the mutually beneficial relationships that feed you.
Check out the vision of DiasporAfri! Please share & ask questions!
Purchase my book on faith, love, & Redemption in the Black Diaspora! & make sure to leave a review!
Purchase here: https://diasporafri.com/purchase-book-2/
Connect with me!
Enjoy Loves! 💛🖤💛