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The Lie of Nice Whiteness

A lot of times, people are deceived by the lies of nice whiteness. Let’s be clear, we have have to understand our 401 year history interacting with white people, and everyone has work to do in terms of understanding their history and decolonizing their minds; but Black people have to be extra careful.

I often say that I grew up going to school and living with white people, there was a time that I was the only full black person in the catholic school I went to for 3 years, the other 2 were half black. I remember how horrible the white kids were, this was in the 90s, which is why my dad eventually took me out of the school. I remember how they were all “nice” as well when they wanted to be. You read that right, their niceness was as nice as you are to a pet until it acts up. White niceness often involves treating the “other” in the room as some pet or social experiment, as long as that other is acceptable to them, and not acting in their blackness. Anything that whites don’t understand is instantly demonized and becomes terrorized. The “other” in the room is often the scapegoat, i.e. a black man and white man are talking, something goes missing, the white man can automatically blame the black man just to save himself, can I tell you how many times that happened to me even as an adult working with these grown people? I haven’t really experienced different behavior, even if I thought they were nice, because the character comes out in time of need or time of trouble, anybody can be nice at the surface. Anyway, back to the elementary school. They were nice when they wanted me to teach them slang and shake my “ghetto booty” as they called it. However, they were also big bullies that spit on me and put hands on me and called me the n word frequently, they would also throw me under the bus in order to not get in trouble; the black girl did it, of course, even though I didn’t. I remember when the little boy, Brent Masterson finally got in trouble for bullying me, his parents were pissed and used the same n word against me that they taught their son. Should I believe that those same millennials are fully redeemed people now? No. Did they as adults show me any different? No. When I stood up against them for mistreating black children when I was a teacher? Oh they pulled out the big lies.

I don’t care how anybody feels reading this, I’m not here to protect feelings, I’m here to teach Black people. The only form of true advocacy is putting yourself on the line, and literally reverse the laws and theft of your forefathers, I could care less if you like me and are kind to me, I don’t need that, I can do that all day, I go to Trader Joe’s and chop it up with the employees I don’t care; but I know for a fact that none of them would put theirselves on the line for me as a loyal customer if something was to happen to me in their store, it is what it is, and I’ve watched it my whole life. Do I care if a white person thinks I’m beautiful? absolutely not; do I care if you’re interested in my hair? I don’t care. I’d like to remind people that the british utilized friendly tactics to colonize, they learned the language, engaged with the people, and were friendly as a tactic to eventually colonize. I don’t preach to white people I don’t, I empower black people, but don’t walk around telling black people to “do better” and overcome generational trauma, when you haven’t overcome the trauma your ancestors and probably you, have instilled. I’m not looking for nice whiteness, I’ve experienced that all my life, with added trauma, I’m looking for my people to be free, and niceness simply won’t do it. Don’t be mad at a black person who doesn’t trust white people, it’s warranted, and trust is earned, not given, especially after 401 years of the same lies and trauma.


10 thoughts on “The Lie of Nice Whiteness

  1. Shorty said “toodles,” I dig it family. I understand this a bit differently, not to the extreme of spitting but Message received nonetheless.

    1. Word! I feel you , what was your experience like? Yea where I lived was white white,

      1. All my experiences vary from horrible to cool, and that’s real; grocery stores are the best but prolonged conversations show something different. Plus I bounced around a lot as a kid, so back then I held no beefs directly based on my environment. Mostly Black and Brown communities, white was worked in but not dominant unless it was the teacher. But my last year of Hs was somewhat of a culture shock and my work life? They’re Habitual line steppers! Both of my old managers were technically opposites but still the same; both afraid black of people but “disarmed” by me because and I quote “you’re not like the typical black guy.” Then proceeded to not answer my follow up question but said “look don’t make this a thing.” They’re used to the visual of a stereotype v. Being around some who’s articulate and a threat, when he needs to be. A decent human being is a decent human being, however, I remember when I was the token face in that same job, right? Legit only Black person let alone man for 2 or 3 years… ms. Michele, old white lady was the “nicest.” That’s customer admission, not mine and I spent the most time with her because she trained me when I first started.

      2. I hate that typical black thing, they try to use it against other black ppl too which is also another divide. Yea, to be with them is complex. They always have something to say, whether they feel it’s racial or not. I feel you!

      3. Yeah ain’t never lied, I peeped a lot being around them and it’s unfortunate. The unfortunate part is that I never acted on the shit I wanted to, but I chalked it up as a lesson, and I bear witness to the lie of what we should do. It’s all bullshit and I’ve seen some things, far too many. How you get mad at me for being late once a month but you commit time fraud, daily?

      4. Exactly! It’s the gaslighting for me. I had a job that literally wanted us to scam students trying to enter the college, then when I said I didn’t wanna do that now I’m the rebel smh

      5. Sharing employee numbers and changing time cards, but I can’t do that or I’ll be fired. And having mfs do their job like shit used to have me heated gzz. I still have a picture of the stock room of this list for a specific task, it’s for motivation. Some shit I’ll never forget but my pride won’t allow me to work for people like that. Literally playing with my livelihood because customers don’t want to pay for shit. I can’t lie to people and then they return it on my shift it effects my numbers. I’m not a liar, the people more important than business. I got pulled to the side often “you can’t tell the customers stuff like that.” Bump allat. And I told him, I’m not lying for you, if you fire me fire me but I’m lying about a product that doesn’t work like you claim.

      6. Amen that’s the spirit! Cuz we ain’t lying for you!!!! I feel you I can’t just work where I’ll be told to lie smh

      7. Word up. Dudes didn’t know misery but I used that place forreal like I one of my poems says the ‘sales floor got the best of me’ I meant that.

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