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Stop Looking for White Respect

woman with blindfold

All the “white people don’t respect us because (fill in the endless blanks), is useless. It began in disrespect during slavery, and it remains that way regardless of what we accomplish. We should want to respect ourselves just because! We accomplish things for ourselves and our legacy/children.

We are not fighting for respect from white people, we are uniting for ourselves to overcome white imposed tragedies. Why would you want respect from people who did non-respectable things to us get where they are? I’d rather us respect each other and go on about our business. We are not in a regular situation here people. As much as people want to act like we are moving forward, those same people are still obsessed with whiteness. Again, breaking it down to the micro level, don’t people always say that a situation you haven’t healed from comes back around? That is the case with black people! For example, there are Black people who feel that because they have made it to a certain status, that these everyday issues don’t affect them, then they cast it off as a class issue, until they realize that class doesn’t protect them from racism. My dear people, that is why I am always giving examples of my life, God made sure I had a life full of examples. I don’t need to cite a study done, we don’t need any more evidence of racism; I tell stories, and give solutions. I keep telling people, I grew up with a life of class status, I am sure my dad would not appreciate me telling his salary, but let’s just say, all 6 of us children were abundantly taken care of. Let’s just say, my dad’s employee looked at him and said “I can’t believe I’m taking orders from a Black man”. Let’s just say, those white people were jealous and broke into our house. Let’s just say a lot of things here okay. I am not the only Black person who grew up with such status, but my comrades have a way of acting like they didn’t experience these things to protect the class status instead of just being honest. Like girl, I know, you know, we know, what we went through but you wanna fake to these people like you had it good with these white people. The way whiteness is protected is sickening. Let a Black person make one mistake and you are ready to call them out but protect the white people who terrorize you? Hey, if that’s what you want and need, but let’s be clear, it will keep happening until you stand up to it and stop protecting it.

In a country where the laws were literally built to protect whiteness, we have no idea the clauses, and even rituals done that could literally determine the outcome of what is happening to Black people even today. Everyone else is doing what they can to protect their communities, we need to get on board. That is why prayer is essential to literally protect ourselves from their law and rituals, I’ll save that for another blog post. My people my people, we cannot keep badgering each other over how white people see us in a land where it’s built on seeing us this way. When I enter a Black business, whatever shortcomings they have, I go to them like a sister – this is true. I remember when I went to Harlem and supported a Senegalese restaurant, the waitress who was a young Black lady was rude to me and my friend, the only 2 Black patrons, and extra nice to the white ones. We waited to see, and it became obvious that she was mistreating us, because remember, blackness is so hated that we have internalized it. Well, we pulled the owner to the side and I explained that as my brother, I took pride in supporting his business, but that the way his waitress behaved was unacceptable, she literally threw my friends’ tea down and it spilled and she left it, crazy. Anyway, he took the advice, because we didn’t just criticize but reminded him that he is our brother. That is how people of the same community should protect each other. Just last month me and my boyfriend walked into a nice seafood restaurant looking good, looking great, and the waitress literally sat us in a side room that was hot, away from the lighted, air conditioned area, and guess who was also seated in this area, other Black people! We demanded to be seated elsewhere – although we could’ve left, but we like demanding better, and we we were seated in the midst of white people who literally looked like “what are they doing here?” with Michael Jackson music playing (they play our music while simultaneously not wanting us there). I have to remind people, when have you walked in a white establishment and been treated like a queen or king? Isn’t that why we fight, to not be treated as second class citizens? So why totally disregard a black businesses because they didn’t meet the “standards” of whiteness? What does that mean, it means, when you are supporting a Black business or event, and they make a mistake (or just not professional) stop saying “this is why white people don’t want to do business with us”. What is it white people’s business what we are doing, we have nothing to prove to them, they did a bad business deal with us and still owe us, so our only business with them is getting what we deserve. I am not building my business, DiasporAfri, LLC to look favorable in the eyes of whites, I am building it because I want to leave a legacy for my children and grandchildren. What you see now is not the end goal of DiasporAfri, but only those close to me know. I know I am professional, according to customers so far who have supported my business, but if I make a mistake, I would not want people to say I shouldn’t make mistakes to avoid being seen as less than in the eyes of white people. I would challenge myself to be a better business person for myself, and my customers; that is all I need.

I know people from all over the world read this blog, I am speaking to Black people about issues and solutions for our community. Yes, whiteness is a thing that plagues the minds of Black people, but it is not for you to judge or try to fix, we got us. I can’t control who reads this blog, but be sure to understand that I am not writing to be seen as favorable, and I will not hide truth to be kind to anybody’s feelings. We need to deal with truth to heal it, and the only way my people will heal is if we get real. People love reminding Black people of our past that we were victims of, and blaming us for our current state, but hate the idea of being reminded of their colonizer past and acknowledging that it is the only reason, not hard work, that got them here today – get over yourselves please. If you feel that you have earned respect and Black people owe it to you to be seen as favorable by you, I have news, It will not be that way any longer, especially not from me or my bloodline. I have stood up and resisted in many spaces and I don’t do it to just be noted, I do it to tell my people “look, this is how it can be done!” I make myself clear when I say I represent black people, because we need spaces that are completely focused on us as we have the most unique position in the world wherever we are. We need to be eradicated from seeing ourselves in the eyes of whiteness; the plantation is gone, I don’t need other Black people reminding me all the time that the whites are watching. I just had this conversation the other day, and a few weeks ago, I had to literally tell other Black people to stop telling me how white people see us – I don’t care. How can I believe my people are healed when we keep talking about being respected by whites all the time? The problem with this logic is that, people use it to justify the killing of Black people. “Well if he just did this”, “well if he just complied”, that is slave talk, it’s not realistic to die for wearing a hoodie, or even die for “talking back” to police. In a country where the law is always against us, there is nothing we can do but respect and protect ourselves. Be sure to sign up for Decolonize Your Mind to dig more deep into the theories and philosophies to help eradicate your mind from this thinking.


16 thoughts on “Stop Looking for White Respect

  1. I thought this was actually new, the date says July. I should’ve been read this. Anyway, this is fire. Really stirs the pot, in a positive sense. I have a question for you: how do you view statements or comments like “black people are doomed?”

    1. Something happened in my drafts. So it was in my drafts from back then, I scheduled it, then it still showed the post date as July. Sometimes wordpress Acts up a lot. I’m glad you asked because that is actually one of my pet peeve statements. I feel like when we keep saying all these terminology’s that have bad predictions of the future, those people saying those statements are not helpful. There’s no way you can actively be seeking to help your community and making statements like that, acknowledging that there is something wrong does not mean predicting that for the future. We have too many people not stating the good that can happen in the future and saying we are doomed. I stay from around those people because I’m always actively working towards the better future and saying the words and praying for us

      1. Got you; but I understand and agree. It sounds like pessimism and worthless chatter just because of mindless behavior. But what you’re describing in the post made me think to ask for your thoughts on the matter. Fighting for white respect is mindless behavior, yet to drastic degree of this pessimistic point of view, without any question or level of understanding, it’s blanketed with “black people are doomed.” It’s a generalization.

      2. I see I see. Explain further

      3. To say black people are doomed for any and everything is pessimistic, that is my belief. I’ve never seen this amount of negative view towards us from us until I got older. Whether it is social media conversations or sitting with elders and listening to them criticizing the world. And even them, it’s love. I’ve never heard black people are doomed until I turned 25/26.

      4. Yea it’s a horrible way of thinking. My mind is not even wired that way, I really see the best in every black Perron, I see us free, that’s why I hate when ppl say it cuz they cannot actively be saying it and acting the opposite, you act what you believe. Too many “activists “‘say it

      5. Well, fighting for white respect comes from something being beaten into us, while proclaiming something that hasn’t happened yet is pessimism. When somebody chooses to respect the white person in the room instead of me simply because of their skin, even if it sounds like pessimism on my end, I am in that moment still displaying the opposite behavior because I am respecting them regardless of their disrespect me because I know that they’re only respecting the white person out of fear and I understand them in that moment better than they understand them selves

      6. If I was to match the pessimism, I would give them the same energy, instead I just show my fellow black people treatment towards them and that I’d like to receive

      7. Yes ma’am, I understand. Aside from the post itself; how do you define respect?

      8. There is a way that people write off other black people in our businesses & our endeavors but respect the white establishments simply because they are white. We look for the faults in each other‘s businesses & already say that because it’s black than it’s going to be ghetto or it’s going to be unprofessional but even if white people make mistakes they will still say it’s professional. There are some people who for example would not even go receive an honor at the BET or Soul train awards well then cry when they don’t get nominated for a Grammy. It’s just a yearning to be respected by things that were not created for us while simultaneously disregarding our own. When I walk into the grocery store and the black cashier doesn’t greet me well but greets the person in front of me who is white with the greatest customer service, it’s a problem, so I believe it is something my people suffer from but I believe that we can overcome it if I acknowledge it.

      9. So white acceptance and respect are seen as the same thing?

      10. In my eyes yes, if you’re accepted by whites, they “respect you” in their own way. In my case I’ve always been nice, but I speak my mind. If I don’t like something they do, I speak up, then it becomes war and I see they only respected me cuz they thought I didn’t have my own blank mind.

      11. I got you. And their own way is a damn leash, I don’t like that idea or physical reality. It’s like that corporate ladder or retail hierarchy; nobody wants to admit it because it’s too black, but things “unseen” actually exist and are conceptualized.

      12. Exactly! It’s actually seen but branded in our minds to seem like it’s conspiracy theory if you figure it out

      13. Word up.

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