Hello All! Welcome to the 2nd edition of Throwback Thursday on the new blogging schedule. This is the 1st Thursday of the month where I share a throwback post and explain what I was thinking during that time. This is for the Extroverts was written at a time of extreme peace in my life, and I am still experiencing that peace, not a nagging feeling that someone is plotting against me like Judas. At the time I had eliminated so many people, places, and things, and refocused. I began a period of solitude that was necessary to refocus on my purpose. That solitude as I’ve talked about many times was revealed through the stories of Joseph, Ruth, Moses, and Jesus 40 days fast in the bible, also greats like Nelson Mandela and Marcus Garvey. The conclusion of these was that people with callings must find themselves by themselves for a period of time to test their actual faith and sharpen their gifts. I am grateful for that time, as I was sharpened and I depended on faith alone, that is why I don’t care what anyone calls their faith, I call my faith the faith of the ancestors. Faith brought me to the point of no worry, til’ this day, and even when the pandemic started I had no worry, it is a time I had waited for, and had been prepared for through the period of solitude; a shift in the history of the world. If I had skipped all that is mentioned below, I would have been shaken up, I wasn’t, I just continued in my purpose. I teach my fellow Melanated Gems how to do the same through my Dear Black People Webinar Series that starts again at the end of this month, it also looks different for everyone, I talk about that too. However, this is for the extroverts with a gift that need to set boundaries. People will be drawn to our gifts, but they may not have the capacity to give back. It’s the story of Black people, so giving, but we haven’t gotten back a slither of the love, gifts, inventions, wealth, resources, and everything else that we’ve given the world. We have to as a people find ourselves in solitude until we can properly set up boundaries and interact normally with others again, just as it happened in my life, AMEN! Enjoy below!
1. Define your Gift
2. Conserve energy & pour that energy into the gift
3. Identify people that align with your gift
4. Create boundaries & build solid friendships with those who meet those boundaries, in alignment with the gift.
I put a lot into myself this year and last year more than ever and the results have been extremely beneficial. The reason is because as an extrovert, I spent a lot of time pouring into people, praying for people, motivating people, and being an extremely good friend; people start depending on that, to the point where I’d be drained and didn’t have enough time to pour all that into myself. By the time it was my turn to be filled up people would be nowhere to be found. I spent hours consoling people, motivating them, and praying for them with them not being able to do the same. Now trust me, I’ve had extremely good friends, about three in my entire life. When I say good friends, I mean people who would do for me just as I would do for them and we didn’t offend each other in a way that was intentional; we barely even made each other mad, in fact – never. Everything that we didn’t understand about each other we just talked out. But as an extrovert, getting older, more involved and active in various communities and causes, I found myself being surrounded by people who were drawn to my abilities but not concerned about me. & this is not something I’m making up; elders, professors, church leaders, & bosses in the workplace have always told me that I am a visionary with great ambition; always having a plan, ready to get things done, but people don’t have the same motivation as me, so I need to be careful. One church elder specifically said “people will use you because of your gift so you have to be careful.”
I am saying all of this for a reason, we have to know ourselves, and we have to know who’s around us. 2018 was my last year being social; I went to a few weddings but for the most part I poured so much into myself. This year, 2019, I have been rarely social; my phone has been so dry, & I’ve been at peace. I decided to cut off all energy from all sources and let things naturally gravitate. I haven’t been quick to contact anyone, except for when I am strongly led to open up communication. Other than that most communication that I’ve had has been incoming. I deleted 90% of my numbers just to see which people would stay in contact and which ones would not, because nobody can ever say that I lack communication, so at that point I was deleting numbers I knew I did my part. I take my life extremely seriously because I can’t afford to not be in alignment with my life goals all due to being connected with the wrong people. & as I always say, just because they’re not meant for me doesn’t mean they’re bad people.
I’m not afraid to be by myself, because I asked God to teach me what to do with my time. As an extrovert at times I get bored, but I have enjoyed this rest and just pouring back into myself in a way like never before. I’m telling this story because it is highly important for us to get serious about the people in our lives; we seek peace, & we have so much energy coming in that we never know what is distracting our peace. Understand that in a world where the majority are followers & few are leaders, strong boundaries have to be set to protect our peace & not be led astray. Understand this is context: all that praying, all that motivating, all that consoling I did for others I really needed to do for myself, & the lack of peace I experienced was because I had too many ppl extracting from my gift. Lack of peace is not fun, it’s draining. I decided that if I’m going to counsel I’m going to get paid to do it as a job and not just for anyone who thinks I have all the time in the world to give them. I said all that to say, as an extrovert, as a leader, as a visionary; conserve your energy. Be kind to everyone, be social when need be, but pour that energy into yourself, your gift & the mutually beneficial relationships that feed you.