Well, in 2018 I started having this strong interest in Black women’s lives. I am a Black woman, but many people know that as a woman sometimes the needs of men is somehow uplifted over ours, and we care about our needs in relation to them. Not all the time, and not for everybody, but it seems to be a trend amongst many women to see their value in men, and see other women’s value in what men say. I understand patriarchy so I’m not mad, but as for me; I started to only see Black women and literally celebrate everything we do even if it was with an “I don’t care” attitude. I was just like yesssss, tell them queen!
Everyone knows music is the love I can’t live without. Suddenly I started only listening to the music of Black women only, all genres, didn’t care the content. I had no more interest in men’s music, and music I had previously shunned, I said “why am I shunning it?, I want to hear what Black women have to say no matter how we’re saying it”. Well, the google queen in me came out; I found every female Black artist I could find and added them to my playlists. Needless to say, it’s now 2021 and 99% of my time I’m listening to Black girl music, and 97% of that time on brown and dark skinned girls who are often not promoted in the industry. It’s not a pity party, the music is beyond great; and although I know why, I can’t understand why the music of these women isn’t promoted like their light counterparts – I digress.
By the way, I also released 4 of my own self produced songs in February 2020, the point was to perform them, which I did once, 2 weeks before quarantine started. (Shameless plug).
As I listen to our music, in correlation with our actions, and study of our history, I started to understand more of how we’ve been muted, more than any other women, and how my actions in particular, as a confident woman, have been seen. If we go back a little bit; I have told the story of how I never initially understood women’s rights movement because I am grateful that I have dad who made sure I was the most confident Black girl to enter the world. He gave me a confidence that I’ve heard many Nigerians say haven’t been given to their daughters by dads (again not all), so validation of confidence is something I never needed from a soul, however, I never understood people’s misconception of my confidence. I remember my boss in 2019, even though I was the highest performer, saying and questioning why I was so confident, but he never treated the confident white girl that way, and she was just rude and loud. My dad never attached my relevance to a man, he attached it to simply who I am, always reminding me of my greatness. People will have a woman believing her confidence is a result of some lack of something. Nah, I believe in myself more than any human could, so I began, and even continued to instill that confidence in other Black women and see them as I see myself, whether she is seen as an acceptable woman in society or not. If we are going to be built up, it starts with us uniting against barriers put up that want us to fight each other!
I don’t believe in simply motivating, I believe in collaborating -whatever need you have let’s accomplish it together. So I began to realize, as I was continuing my journey of uplifting the Global Black Diaspora, that I needed to uplift the voices of Black women beyond any other voice, and it started naturally happening. I am not a man-hater, I love men, and I love the importance of men to build strong families as God designed it, trust me. However, I realize that beyond a voice there is a strength I needed to tap into that is never talked about. Well I talk about it in part 8 of my Strength of Black Women course being offered as part of my Dear Black People™ Webinar Series! Sign up now!
I hope to see you there as I continue this story and many more 💛
~ Ndidi Love ~